"Go therefore and make disciples of
all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son,
and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have
commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end
of the age." Matthew 28:19-20
This is a command of Christ totally ignored in my life before
I went on the Denver trip with UGM. Reaching the world for Christ
failed to take precedence in my faith. I overlooked what should
have been the very essence of my faith, not considering it an
integral part of Christianity. Before the trip I thought of missions
as one time summer excursions, or people living among tribes in
third world countries, and most importantly, I didn't see them
as a personal responsibility. I didn't think missions were for
me...and honestly, I didnt want them to be for me, because I was
afraid. I was afraid to reach out, and so, as I begged God in
youth group for more of Him I was going nowhere. And that was
because I had come up against a block, one that was put there
by my fear. I could never experience Christ in the way that I
wanted to, because I didn't share in His passion, my will was
not conformed to His.
So, when the information about the misson trip my mom had mentioned
to me sometime before school let out arrived, I knew that the
experience would end up being an awesome one, and for mostly selfish
reasons I really didn't want to miss it. A short time later somehow
the whole thing had dropped into place. I knew it was God's will...but
i was still scared. The reality of the details, such as flying
by myself, and being around soccer players I knew would be a whole
lot more experienced then myself, suddenly flew in my face as
the knowledge sunk in that I was actaully doing it...not just
talking about it.
Scared and unable to handle it on my own, I gave the trip to the
Lord and he lovingly moved me to the next level of my walk. Fears
were broken one after the other all week, starting with my fear
of flying by myself and spanning everything from my fear of talking
to strangers about Christ to my fear of not performing as well
as others at soccer. I learned that when I step out boldly, trusting
firmly on Christ, he is always faithful. And so I was filled,
and empowered, and I realized that being a missionary means just
what it says: following the mission Christ gave us in the Bible
everyday, to all those who surround us.
The Denver trip showed me how awesome living it out is. There
I was actually doing the things we always talked about in church,
and I was surrounded by people who were "doing the stuff"
too. God, in his awesome faithfulness, had answered my prayer
of months before. His provison brought me from where I was when
I cried for more of Him to where I needed to be to experience
the closeness I had longed for.
God also answered a prayer I had been praying since I was young,
but especially since the beginning of summer. He blessed me with
a group of freinds, a family of brothers and sisters that encourage
and love each other.
Beyond all this, the most important effect the UGM trip had on
my life was that it shuttled me to the point of no return. God
brought me from holding onto myself, scared to step out of the
boat to dying to myself for more of Him. I learned that I can
lose myself...It's Him I can't live without. After glimpsing God's
power the way I did amongst the kids in the clinics, the people
of Denver, and especially the team of hand picked warriors that
was quickly bonded together in His presence, I know that I never
want to live without it.
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